The most self assured are also the most humble, grounded and fulfilled in their own accomplishments.
They don’t need to convince anyone else how hard they work or how comfortable and happy their lives are, because they’ve already convinced themselves.
They don’t seek validation from others.
Feelings of inadequacy and uncertainty is the thing that’s fuels the need to convince others.
In my experience, the most brash, opinionated, confrontational, stereotypical, self dubbed “alphas” are also the biggest (their phrasing, not mine) insecure “snowflakes”
Our self-worth is in a constant state of flux which is dependent on our own awareness, values, what was taught to us as children, what our parents imprinted on us knowingly and unknowingly, and the environment we’re in.
What happens when as a learned behaviour we rely on the external for validation, as a contributory factor to our self-esteem and self-worth?
Some people are triggered by a flex, and the immediate question is, why?
The more interesting one, revolves why we need to do this at all of we’re at ease and fulfilled with our own accomplishments?
Do we need that ‘nod’ from others because our thoughts about ourselves, what we truly value in the world, and what we contribute to it, possibly aren’t enough?
There are many avenues to this discussion of course. We can’t simply look at why some of us need external factors for motivation more than others, or why we feel the need to celebrate material wealth, our body shape changes, what’s in our bank accounts, how much we paid for a new watch, or our luxury holidays, etc.
Does that come from a place of insecurity?
There’s always a reason for the seemingly unimportant.
Our motives aren’t always obvious, but there is ALWAYS motive whether we’re conscious of it or not.
Evolutionary psychology, the why, and the motives behind what we do, whether that’s on an unconscious level or not, is fascinating.
Part of the human condition is we can’t understand all.
We can focus on taking a higher amount of satisfaction and fulfilment by looking to purpose over achievement, but it takes a lot of difficult self-exploration and reflection.
The issue isn’t social media, it’s social media being used to fulfil needs it was never designed to fulfil.
Is low self-esteem the reason we seek attention from others?
Those needs aren’t often met and our futile attempts to live up to other people’s standards leaves us deflated. Worse yet, when we achieve our version of success (often the things we can’t document) and no one else recognises it.
How does that leave us feeling?
Your opinion of yourself is the only real opinion that matters, and there’s an online identity that does not equal real identity to consider.
Are we addicted to momentary validation?
